to New Beginnings

I've lost myself. I don't know what I love or why to live. I don't want to die because I know that I have a purpose, but everything seems extremely hazy right now. I don't feel the same sense of direction I've had for as long as I can remember. I am always the person planning and I always have my life together. I feel like something has been ripped away from me and I don't know how to get it back. I feel like the only way to really get me back is to start over again.

I saw myself slipping away -- the person I once knew and loved -- but I didn't know how to stop it. I didn't realize that I would continue to lose more of me.

If I am lost, then there is hope. Whatever is lost must be found. I always try to remember that although I cannot find what I am looking for at the moment, it is somewhere within reach and it is patiently waiting for me to realize that it's there.

I need to figure out where to start looking. Does it matter why I feel like I've lost myself? If it was stolen from me, should I be searching for why or by whom rather than trying to fix it? I don't know why it's so hard for me to rekindle my old self.

Perhaps this is my opportunity for a new beginning. The chance to mold exactly who I'd like to be. Where do I start? I begin with characteristics that I admire. Then, I express why I exemplify those characteristics, as well as how they relate to my future goals.

I've decided to throw out a lot of my old belongings, due to my desire for a fresh start. I think my experiences have brought me to a place that I am proud of; however, I would like them to stay in the past and allow only the memories to remain. Throwing away things from my past is symbolism for distancing myself from Me in my previous life.


&& this. is to: new beginnings.