What I Want . . .

I am 19. Right now, I know what I want:

• To have fun
• Enjoy life
• And create memories that will last a lifetime

If I continue to reach for my future goals without embracing the life I'm living right now, it won't turn out the way I want it to because I'll feel as if I missed out and it's possible that I don't meet the right people along the way or see everything I need to see or experience the world in the best way to shape the person I become.

[[talk about a run on sentence!]]

Talk is worth nothing without action. A friend of mine said her motto is: "Be Present" (MM). I realized what I was missing. I've been so busy planning the next 10 years of my life and worrying about how to fit everything together and how everything I do will affect my future, that I forgot to enjoy what I have now. ((Of course, the key is to live in the present, but plan for the future)).

I am ONLY 19. I have time. At least I hope. And even if I don't, I want to make the life I have count for something.

It gets annoying when people continuously try to throw their beliefs and their morals and principles at me...like, really? I mean, I understand that you may think something is best for me because it's what you believe...but in all honesty only I know what is best for me [and God]. I am blessed to have people that care about me, though. I'm the type of person that will listen to what you say, but if I find it to be irrelevant to my own thoughts, then it will be tossed. If there is some truth to what you say, okay, thanks. I appreciate it, but I would rather find out on my own**. It doesn't work the same way to just tell someone.

Some people can accept what others say and take it to heart. I feel bad for people like that because it's like living life in a shell that's being coloured by other people.

I want to colour my own shell. I want to break out of the shell. I want to walk into someone else's shell and colour their shell. I want to break their shell so we can run free together.

I want to experience life. I want to experience the real world. I want to experience the pain. I want to experience the love. I want to experience it all. I don't want anything or anyone to hold me back from accomplishing that and if you don't agree with my decisions, then that sucks for you. Get over it and while you're at it a life of your own.

"I'm gonna find a way to make it without you, tonight."
-- Alicia Keys

**Sure, there are times when the advice is better than nothing and can potentially save your life...but how will you know unless you find out???